“Love is confusing! Love makes you not want the day to end but at the same time it makes you look forward to tomorrow.” ~ Tramaine Cavil
Have you been fighting for days?
Let us help you end your argument by telling you who's right and who's wrong.
Settle Our Argument!
The Fighters
Netta & Laverte
The Argument
Me and my boyfriend of a year and a half argue about a lot of petty things. We recently
have been arguing about our living situation. We were not happy with where we were
living so we now stay at separate family and friends until we eventually move in
together again. I have security issues, while at the same time he thinks its ok to
be out and not answer his phone when I call, even though he knows I worry. I think
being apart like this is messing up our relationship. Am I wrong or am I right?
Who's Right?
Netta is “sorta” right in this situation. I think it’s fantastic that the two of you decided to live with family and friends due to you not approving of the environment that you previously lived in. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. It’s totally fine for you to have security or insecurity issues. We all have them to some degree and they are usually caused by previous experiences or something that our partner did in the past. There are a lot of things that we can control in life but when it comes to how we feel in certain situations, sometimes it seems that our feelings and thoughts have a life of their own.
The parts that worry me are when you mentioned that you’re arguing over petty things and that you feel that being apart is messing up your relationship. Generally, being apart makes the heart grow fonder and allows you to be more appreciative of each other when you’re together (Not the other way around). More than likely there are other issues that are causing the problems in your relationship especially if petty things seem to be an issue. If you can’t ignore the small things in your relationship then the big problems that are bound to appear at some point are going to destroy the two of you.
Who's Wrong?
Without having more information, Laverte is wrong in this situation. There are many key elements of a successful relationship; “understanding” and “attending to your partners needs” are two elements that are on top of the list. If Laverte understands that Netta has security issues, he should answer the phone when she calls. If for any reason he’s going to be somewhere that will prevent him from answering the phone, he should call before he gets there to let her know where he will be. Yes, it seems like a lot and may even seem unnecessary but like previously mentioned, there are reasons why we have insecurities and sometimes you have to do these types of things in order to gain trust. Relationships are about working together and adjusting our lives just a little in order to fit the other person. It doesn’t seem as though Laverte has made this adjustment yet.
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