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Relationship Advice for Couples
When “I Love You” Isn’t Enough
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When to Throw in the Towel
By
Patricia Corey
Love can be a beautiful thing when all of its parts are properly oiled and functioning at full capacity. Unfortunately though, like any other machine, without the proper maintenance and upkeep, that beautiful thing called love can turn as ugly as a mutt in an ugly dog contest. What removes the makeup and the pretty dress from the body of love, varies from couple to couple, but it generally consists of aspects that were once present in the relationship but are now missing in action. You know the story, in the beginning your lover was loving and attentive and what made you fall for them is that they made you feel like you were their world. Now days, it feels like you’re no longer their world but simply a side product of their day.
Relationships are an ever evolving entity that you have to adapt to almost on a daily basis. Adapting to your relationship and the person you’re in it with can be simple and manageable until it gets to the point where you’re no longer willing to adapt. As with most things, it’s never going to be like it was in the very beginning, but when things become too different or when your core values are attacked by the new environment, then the question must be posed; is it time to throw in the towel? Here are just a few signs that may warrant moving on.
When You No Longer Seem Important
Two of the true joys of being in a relationship, are the feeling of belonging and the feeling of being needed by another human being. You can be 200 miles apart but it’s still comforting to know that there’s someone out there that in a way, belongs to you, and the way they show this is their expressed need to talk to you and spend as much time with you as they can. What a feeling!
On the other side of the coin is the feeling of belonging to someone that expressively shows that they don’t need you, and they could really care less if you are the one they belonged to. There’s few worse feelings than knowing that you’re unimportant to the person that’s important to you.
When Your Core Values Become Opposite of Theirs
They say that opposites attract and I can see the benefits of that being true. I for one love dating someone that is different from me because they open up my world to things that I would have never experienced if I dated someone with my exact same interests. But beware, there’s a huge difference between different interests and different values. If you find yourself at church and bible study every week but you find your partner in jail or in mischief just as often, then at some point your core values got misaligned.
When You’re Physically or Mentally Abused
Things were so wonderful in the beginning. Your lover was so gentle and every word they said to you was sweeter than a bowl of honey sprinkled with sugar. Oh, the good ol’ days! It’s sad that some people get to the point where they can’t even remember how things were in the beginning because things have taken such a turn for the worse, that they’re engulfed in the negative feelings and physical abuse they’re subjected to on a daily basis. If this is your situation, you deserve so much better and you definitely need to throw in the towel.
Relationships are created with effort and the investment of time, so you shouldn’t give up on one too easily. Before generating the thought of giving up, there should be lots of dialog on how you feel and the changes that are required for you to remain happy in your relationship. If through many conversations there aren’t needed actions taken by your lover, then it’s time to entertain the thought of moving on. Throwing in the towel is not giving up, it’s just simply removing yourself from a no win situation. Remember this; It’s not giving up, it’s getting smart!
LoveFlu.com : Relationship Advice for Couples : When to Throw in the Towel
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Article Summary
Relationships should be fought for but sometimes you find yourself fighting more than loving each other. Read our relationship advice to help you determine if it’s time to throw in the towel on your relationship.