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“Love is confusing! Love makes you not want the day to end but at the same time it makes you look forward to tomorrow.” ~ Tramaine Cavil
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Preventing Divorce!
Making Sure You’ve Done Your Part
By
Tramaine Cavil
Love is a beautiful thing when it’s being created. The creation of love consists of two people contributing to each other’s lives in positive and caring ways generating strong feelings and a strong bond. Once the love has been produced, it can sometimes become difficult to maintain because one or both parties can fail to carry their load and discontinue providing contributions in positive and caring ways. It takes two people to create a love that develops into a marriage but it only takes one person to destroy it.
When troubled times enter your marriage, sometimes it’s convenient to place all your focus on the other party. It’s easy to place all the blame on the other person and the blame may rightfully be directed in the proper direction but before you put the full burden of the survival of your marriage on the other party, make sure you’ve gone through the checklist to ensure that you’ve done everything in your power to sustain your end of the bargain.
1 Have You Communicated Clearly Your Frustrations?
Just because you properly annunciated your words in your last argument doesn’t mean that you have communicated clearly your concerns and frustrations. More times than not, nothing gets resolved during an argument because both parties are in defense mode. Generally, there’s nothing that you can say during an argument that is going to be truly heard unless it’s something that’s hurtful to the recipient. At some point, you have to sit down and have a calm conversation regarding your feelings and frustrations and have a dialog about them. Only then will you have clearly communicated your frustrations.
2 Have You Clearly Listened to Your Spouse?
More than likely, you’re not the only person that is frustrated in your marriage. A marriage consists of two people and a lot of time you don’t realize that some of the things that you’re frustrated about are being caused by some of the things that your spouse is frustrated about. It’s possible that the reason why your spouse shuts you out and is reserved is because you don’t help them around the house as much as they would like you too. It’s not always the case but a lot of times you will find that there is a cause for every effect and sometimes you’re actually the cause. Listen to what they have to say and it’s possible by resolving their frustration you will resolve yours at the same time.
3 Have You Compromised as Well as Been the Bigger Person?
It’s everyone’s favorite word, compromise! Depending on the two personalities in the relationship, this can sometimes be a very difficult task. What people don’t realize is the magnitude of the importance of compromise. To put it simply, compromise is the oil and the fuel that operates your relationship. Too little of it and there will be friction which will result in your relationship not running well. You need just the right amount or an abundance of it for everything to run smoothly. Find the middle ground as much as you can for the sake of the relationship. Everything is not about you and what you believe, it’s about the two of you and what you believe together. This requires middle ground which both of you will have to find. If there’s no middle ground to be found and the issue isn’t catastrophic, simply be the bigger person. Some issues aren’t meant to be fought over till the death especially if there’s not too big of significance to it.
LoveFlu.com : Marriage & Divorce : Tips and Advice : Divorce - Making Sure You’ve Done Your Part
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Article Summary
Marriage is created by two people in love and divorce is created by 2 people falling out of it. Before placing all the blame on the other party, make sure you’re doing you’re part to have a successful marriage.
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