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“Love is confusing! Love makes you not want the day to end but at the same time it makes you look forward to tomorrow.”  ~ Tramaine Cavil

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10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

By

Tramaine Cavil

It’s not like the old days anymore when two people got married and it was actually to death do they part. In today’s times divorce is almost as common as marriage and even when divorce isn’t implemented, the thought of it appears as often as eggs and toast in the morning.  I used to think it was sad that our society didn’t believe in the core values of marriage anymore but I now see things different.  It’s not that our values have changed, we just simply live in a day in which we want more for ourselves and we refuse to settle for anything less.  No longer is marriage a death sentence or a sentence of unhappiness because the way out is more accepted and even suggested.  Often times, you will find that there are more people suggesting that you get a divorce than people encouraging you to work things out and stay married.

With all that said, before you add your name to the divorce court schedule, make sure that you have put in a strong effort in saving your marriage.  Marriages that end in divorce should be failed marriages after several attempts to make it work, not marriages that are simply given up on.  A wise woman once told me that anything worth creating is worth maintaining and fighting for.  Here are 10 Ways to fight for and hopefully save your marriage.

1. Listen to Each Other – Anytime there is thought of divorce, there is one or two people that feel like they aren’t heard and that they’re feelings aren’t being addressed.  Listen to each other and understand each other’s feelings so that you can make attempts to address each other’s concerns.

2. Compromise – Strong marriages focus on the “we” aspect of the union not the “me” aspect.  It’s no longer your world and you have to take steps to live comfortably in the “our” world you created when you said, “I do”.  Meet in the middle to keep the peace and the strength in your relationship.

3. Talk to Other Married Couples – Chances are the same obstacles and challenges that you’re facing have already been experienced by someone you know.  Find married people you trust and speak about your problems.  You may be able to implement the same solution that they put in place to resolve the same issue.

4. Do Things That Make You Strong as a Couple – Every couple has at least one thing that they do together in which they are strongest as a couple.  Sometimes it’s as simple as double dating with another couple so that you can tell stories together and finish each other’s sentences or it may be bowling or any other activity that makes you a strong team and creates unity between the two of you.

5. Go to Church Together and Get Involved – Religion doesn’t save all marriages and even the most religious people get divorced, but the success rate of marriages that are based on faith and religion is higher. Get back to church and get back to living your life through the words of the bible and you might just have some success.

6. Be the Woman or Man You Used to Be – You don’t quite notice it when it’s happening but you change so much during a relationship that sometimes you’re completely different than the person your spouse fell in love with. Remember that kinder, gentler, thoughtful, and caring person you “used to be”?  Get back to that person and give your spouse back the person they married.   

7. Be FOR Your Spouse Not Against Them – Some spouses think of divorce because they feel too controlled and too restricted within the relationship.  Even though they’re adults, in their eyes they’re treated like children with rules and limitations. Allow your spouse to build the garden they have been begging you for or allow them to turn the spare bedroom into an office.  Provide them with more support and they will naturally do the same for you.

8. Make Decisions Best For the Relationship – Think as a married person and make your decisions accordingly.  You will find that when you make decisions from a married state of mind, the decisions you make will be different from decisions you would simply make on your own.  Yes, having the bass boat painted is a great idea but so is the family vacation you’ve been talking about for years. You can only do one.

9. Make a Genuine Gesture Everyday – Have you ever felt unloved and alone even though you were in a relationship and lived under the same roof? It’s not a good feeling.  Make a point everyday to let your spouse know you care by doing something nice or sweet for them. Compliment them, make them breakfast or dinner, do something for them that they themselves have been putting off. Little gestures go a long way in letting someone know you care.

10. Go to Marriage Counseling – You don’t have to wait until it’s almost too late to save your marriage to see a counselor.  The earlier you can identify a problem and take steps to resolve the issues, the easier it will be to right the ship. Counselors help you get everything out in the open to stimulate dialog and then assist you with applying tools to save your marriage.

LoveFlu.com : Marriage & Divorce : Tips and Advice :  10 Ways to Save Your Marriage

Marriage & Divorce

Article Summary

Hard times are bound to come in your marriage and they will test your bond. Read our marriage advice for helpful tips to save your marriage when times are hardest.

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Marriage & Divorce

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